Saturday, November 3, 2012


When I was little, I was taught that there are some things money can't buy. The Mayor of NYC obviously doesn't believe that, but after the events of this week, I know it's true. For many people here on Staten Island, money can't buy enough gas to keep a generator going or get their families across or out of town, away from the sewage in the streets. Money can't buy a meal or warm socks or a cup of coffee from stores that have no electricity. I know a lot of marathoners got stranded here, and that sucks, but everyone should know that the fault for that lies squarely with the mayor, who is so blinded by greed that he foolishly entertained the idea that this race should happen, not only for a fleeting moment, which should be the lifespan of a foolish idea, not only for an hour, but for FOUR DAYS. If he had been sensible enough to say, on Tuesday, "Hey folks, sorry about the marathon, but the whole idea is ridiculous," then those runners could have changed their plans. Instead, they're stuck here, because of one man's greed. I know many people would disagree with my premise, and say it's the mayor's money that keeps him above the fray, but I would love to see him stuff his pockets with cash & try to walk through Midland Beach or South Beach or New Dorp Beach right now, and see how far it gets him. 

Friday, April 13, 2012

Girl Date with Bern

Bern & I went to the Met today, & for some reason she seemed to find half of everything I said brilliant. I was dropping eloquence like mad, yo. So here is the official list of my quotable quotes from our outing. 1) I was never that interested in Gertrude Stein, but as someone who feels like my only talent is liking stuff... I mean, she made a career out of it. She's an inspiration! 2) I love Seurat, but it's clear he had OCD or something. 3) Saw a ton of medieval shit in France. Brittany was lousy with it. 4) You can't go wrong with Impressionism. If you meet someone who doesn't like Impressionism, cut their head off, because they're a devil. 5) I love having crushed macarons in my bag. It's so refined & trashy at the same time. Honorable mention: Bern gets the credit for "Float like a duck." You had to be there. Finally, and possibly the greatest thing I have ever said or will ever say in my life: We went to P. J. Clarke's, not realizing that on a Friday evening it would be jammed, so we squeezed our way back to the dining room & took a table even though we really wanted to drink (we had munched on macarons all morning & eaten a healthy but overpriced lunch at the Met). So when the waitress asked to take our order, I said: We'll have a bottle of prosecco and a shrimp cocktail.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Wherein I Am Forced to Drink the Kool-Aid Known as The Hunger Games

I'm not going to bother with a fancy review. This is just me typing up the notes I made on post-its while reading. Yes, I am that much of a dweeb. I won't even insult you with a spoiler alert; everyone and their mother has been there and back already. And if you haven't read it, you've at least seen the ads from the movie, not to mention internet memes, and from those you can pretty much figure out anything that might have been remotely spoilery. I've indicated page numbers where I bothered to write them down.

1. Hey honey, we make bread; let's name our son... Peeta! I hate stupid names. That's why I don't read fantasy. Also because I hate multi-book series. So this is 0 for 2 already.
2. Why is it officially called the "Hunger Games?" Isn't that bad for P.R.? Shouldn't they call it the "Happy Fun Time Games?"
3. Did they have stylists just so there could be a movie without people saying "Why does their makeup look so good while they're hunting each other?"
4. Do they literally have no drivers on the chariots? Doesn't seem possible. I'm seriously having a hard time picturing this.
5. I didn't get the "Rue" thing till she pointed it out. Had to cram some Ophelia shit in there, didn't ya?
6. Why does she agree to train with Peeta (89)? I find it strange. Only reasons I can think of (1) She wants to see how tough Peeta is (2) She wants to max her training time
7. Yeah no shit the Gamemakers scored her high. How stupid are we supposed to be?
8. Rue is clearly Black. I can't believe people had problems with the casting.
9. End of Part One. WHAT? Peeta's crush is... Katniss? I hate when these moments end chapters, like they're supposed to be big revelations, even though the reader has known them from page four.
10. I feel like I've been hating on it a lot, but there are features and moments that I find endearing. I like how in some ways she's a typical YA heroine, except she has to kill kids. It's pretty amusing.
11. Pretty cool how that kid blows up in her face right off the bat (150).
12. Was Peeta comparing Katniss to his harpy bitch of a mother when he said, "Give my mother my best?" I'm not blaming. Just curious.
13. They collect the dead during the game? In Battle Royale they wait till it's all over, which makes more sense to me.
14. Exactly what advantages do they get from sponsors? I feel like I'm missing something.
15. Peeta joining the Careers pack. I freely admit I did not see that coming.
16. There are cameras, but are there mikes? Why does no one ever fuck with them?
17. With the Gamemakers and sponsors, I feel the Hunger Games is to Battle Royale what reality television is to reality. I may flesh this idea out in a Goodreads review. Or not.
18. Wow. Kinda shitty that she's letting her rivalry with Peeta overshadow helping her family (189).
19. God, when was the last time I tasted a honeysuckle?
20. I want Rue to turn out to be a psycho killer that destroys them all. Is that wrong? (200)
21. Why can't the Careers just get more supplies from their sponsors?
22. More Ophelia shit (237).
23. Rule change?! Why the fuck would they want to do that? And... aren't they the only pair left?
Okay, no, the pair from District 2 is alive, but the reason still doesn't make sense.
24. I hate this kind of stuff (261). When she won't let him finish "If I die..." It's bullshit. Even if you say "Don't talk like that," or whatever, you still let the guy finish that sentence, if only for your poor reader! And then how is she going to feel if he does die, and she can't even do whatever the fuck it was that he wanted her to do? Stupid.
25. Why do the Gamemakers send so much rain, when the result is no one killing each other?
26. Isn't this a kind of prostitution (302)? It's creeping me out.
27. All this kissing - how gross is their morning breath?
28. I like what she says about Foxface dying from Peeta's ignorance (324). It's kind of a mindfuck.
29. The mutts being the dead tributes struck me as incredibly stupid.
30. Would it really have fucked up the Capitol if they had gone out in double suicide? I have my doubts. If the point of the Hunger Games is to show their power by taking the children, why not just kill 'em all?
31. I really don't want there to be a Twilight-style rivalry between Peeta & Gale... and why do they both have such girly names?

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Ides Eve

I didn't watch Jeopardy yesterday, but apparently the final "answer" was a Shakespeare question; "something about Ophelia." I heard this from one of my Juniors, who was pleased with himself - and a bit surprised - that he was able to get it while none of the contestants did. He said, "I did process of elimination: I read Romeo & Juliet, I read Julius Caesar, and I read Macbeth, so I knew it wasn't any of those. I said, What's left? Hamlet!"
To paraphrase the Bard himself, I haz a happy. Enjoy those Ides of March!